Reply to applying out "early"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DC is in a lovely, caring, small, and somewhat struggling school outside of DC.  For a host of reasons relating to location to home and other DCs' schools, school vacation schedules, and my DC's needs, we are strongly considering leaving.  We've been upfront about this to the school, which has received this news with great unhappiness.  Our DC's teacher, with whom I've always had a good relationship (she was DC's teacher last year too) has been extremely distant, unwilling to communicate in email beyond "ok" unless to communicate almost aggressivley how happy my DC is, etc.  I feel certain the school is professional enough not to take this out on DC, but I do worry that DC won't get quite the same treatment as the other kids who are staying.  I don't want this to be a thing the entire year.  [b]Is it unethical to tell them we're applying out to see but will probably stay, pay the deposit, and then just tell them we're not coming back right before the June deadline (after school is over)? [/b] They are underenrolled so will not turn down a kid bc they think DC is staying.  [/quote]

Like 13:54, I don't really understand the timing of your notification to the school.  You "don't want it to be a thing the entire year," but you've chosen to tell the school now even though you probably don't need teacher recommendations just yet.  What did you hope to accomplish?  As for the teacher's reaction, try to put yourself in her shoes.  You speak positively of the school and your DC is apparently quite happy there, but you're seeking to leave and you've told the teacher that early in the year. She's invested in your DC.  You can probably understand how she might feel.

If the school is lovely and caring and professional, all of which you say is true, I don't think you have anything to worry about in terms of how your child is treated for the rest of the year.  But I think the ethical thing to do is simply to say you're applying out.  I would not say we will "probably" stay if we in fact planned to leave.  The school may not be right for you, due to location and other factors, but it sounds like you care about the place and in fact think well of it, so presumably you hope it will flourish in the future -- if not for your child, then for others.

Good luck with your decision.

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