Reply to Unequal division of labor, amplified during covid

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[quote=Anonymous]My advice is to dig in and demand. Set up a list of the chores that need to be done, hold him to 50% (and if he's not willing to do 50%, make him voice that out load). You may find that there is some negotiation over whether some chores need to be done (and this is a super common tactic from men, I suspect they teach each other how to do this).

It's not negotiable that adults have to scrub bathrooms sometimes. You might negotiate that you scrub the bathroom weekly while he is responsible for scrubbing the stove weekly, but ultimately, someone has to do it.

And don't let him off the hook. Make a plan and then insist that he holds to it. If he doesn't do his share, be explicit -- he is shirking his work and letting you pick up the slack, and it's not okay for him to do that.

You have to be 100% willing to go to the mat on this, though -- he won't do it unless he's pushed, hard. But do it for yourselves, and do it so your kids KNOW that it's not okay for men to shirk responsibility.[/quote]

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