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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The gaslighting. [/quote]

Having to live one reality and present a different one to the world to save face and more significantly, preserve the fiction that someone prioritizes and cares about you.  Ongoing sense of embarrassment and living with a certain degree of secrecy. You do not invite friends to the house out of fear of being embarrassed by your checked-out mother.

Guilt about mom's drinking, worrying that you are the cause.  Constant anxiety about the situation at home, constant anxiety about keeping the reality hidden.

Confusion, chaos, lack of routine.  You don't know whether you can rely on your mom's word about giving you a ride, helping you with something, taking you somewhere, buying you something.   Bedtimes and mealtimes constantly change, and a regular daily schedule does not exist. Changes in behavior without warning, rhyme, or reason, i.e. changing from being loving to angry, regardless of the child’s behavior.

Anger at the drinking, her choice to drink over being a functioning parent, anger at the chaos, the failure to provide support and protection, the neglect.  Constant feeling of helplessness.

:::

In adulthood, all of the above manifests in lots of different ways including a general inability to form intimate relationships.  The only person an adult child of an alcoholic trusts is herself.  [/quote]

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