Reply to If I take my kids, and then we later get divorced . . .

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven’t asked DH.  I will, and I wouldn’t go if he said no.  I think he might welcome a break from the kids.  [/quote]

New poster. Some very good advice in posts above. OP, I'm very sorry for the situation -- it sounds as if you really want the marriage to continue and that can be so complicated where  there are mental health issues.

Is he getting treatment? You don't say but the tone sounds as if maybe this is a known and diagnosed issue--? There may be a few things to ask yourself here: Will he keep going to his therapy and/or taking his meds (if any) reliably and regularly without you present, or is there a risk he will stop attending therapy or maybe decide he "doesn't need" his meds if he's on his own?

To be clear, I get it if you feel you cannot both cope with the kids and be his caregiver overseeing whether he gets medical help/medication! It's just something to factor in if you do stay elsewhere for a while. Would he need to be checked in on by someone, whether that's you or someone else?

If he's not in any kind of treatment, is it possible to get him started on any? Or is he refusing to see problems/refusing to get help? You do mention his needing "peace and quiet to recuperate" so perhaps he's been treated or hospitalized recently.

I truly hope he gets better and you and your kids get a needed break. [/quote]

OP here,

This is a pretty abrupt change triggered by a specific trauma.  We are still in the very early part and are figuring out treatment.  I hope the treatment works and he is back to the excellent father and husband he was.  One of my goals would be to avoid the kids seeing something that impacted their relationship long term.

He wouldn’t be alone, his Dad is a good support for him and I would have childcare where I’d be so if I needed to attend a joint therapy session or something it wouldn’t be a problem.

My kids and I were impacted by the same traumatic event and right now I think they would find it hard to be separated from both parents, otherwise I’d stay and send them by themselves. [/quote]

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