Reply to Worried about 3 yr olds anxiety and confidence? Should I seek a professional?

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[quote=Anonymous]My 3 yr old is kind, funny, affectionate, and active. She physically healthy and developmentally on track.

But she has had a bear of a time with potty training, I think in large part because of a regression in the spring when our nursery school closed. I'm not super worried about the potty training itself -- I am looking forward to being done, but she just turned 3 so she's not way behind. Our ped is not concerned.

The issue is she gets so anxious and upset about it. At first it was just that she'd get very upset about having an accident. But now she gets upset anytime she sits on the potty and nothing happens, or every morning she wakes up with pee in her diaper (we haven't even attempted night training). She has started saying stuff like "I'm never going to use the potty." And not in a defiant way, but in a kind of despondent way, like she's depressed about it. Even when she succeeds and we make a big deal out of putting a sticker on her reward chart and talking about how great she did, she will tell us it wasn't good because she can't do it every time. I have no idea where she gets this -- we don't talk this way about her or around her at all.

Last night when I was putting her to bed, she seemed sad so I asked her about it. She told me that she didn't want to be a big girl because she doesn't think she's good at it, because she can't use the potty and she's bad at school (she can use the potty and she's great at school, though understandably PK via DL is not an amazing experience). We talked through it and read a book and made a plan for today to do some things I am hoping will remind her how great she's doing (riding her bike and making a video of writing her name to send to her PK teacher). But she still seemed down this morning, and then had an accident and had to change clothes before leaving the house, which made it worse.

I honestly think her anxiety about potty training is what is prolonging the process at this point. She just seems convinced that she is going to fail and I can't figure out why. Can 3 yr olds get depressed? Should I talk to a behavioral therapist? Again, our pediatrician didn't seem concerned, but I'm thinking maybe I should do a telehealth appointment without DD to explain what is going on with her lack of confidence. My husband thinks it will pass if we just stay positive and keep at it, but it feels like it's getting worse. At a loss for next steps.

Any advice?[/quote]

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