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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My daughter is only 3 (and still thinks I hung the moon). But I have a terrible relationship with my mom and we've never gotten along, starting when I was school age.

If you have a great relationship with your mom, what do you think helped make it that way? In particular, how did you get through adolescence and teen years with that bond intact?

My mom had mental health issues that really impacted our relationship, especially during my adolescent years. I'm not worried about that, but without a good model for this relationship, I sometimes worry that I could repeat the same patterns. Would just love to hear what people appreciate about the better experiences they had and what you think matters the most in keeping those relationships strong.[/quote]

Hi OP, I could’ve written your post (except my mom doesn’t know we have a bad (emotionally distant in my case) relationship because we live far away which makes it easy to fake it. My brother doesn’t have kids but he had the best advice that I’ve always remembered—he said a “bad” role model is still very useful. You know what you don’t want to do. As a mom of two, I would add that I enjoy the chance to “redo”
what she (mom) didn’t do. I get an added sense of fulfillment to be very present for my kids, and keeping a friendly tone and soft/smiling face. (With teens that switches to being available and kind and understanding when they’re moody). [/quote]

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