Reply to Gifts: Say something to SIL?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We sent a birthday gift to [b]SIL’s dd[/b] over a week ago and haven’t heard a peep about it. (Amazon used their trucks to deliver it and won’t give me any tracking history or a picture of it on their porch but [i]said[/i] it was delivered.) DH thinks there is no way we can ask about it without seeming like we are rude and fishing for a thank you while simultaneously shaming her for not already offering one. (His family has a strong tradition of passive aggression and reading way too much negativity into a situation where there is none so he’s probably dead on that this is how any outreach would be interpreted by SIL.)

The only reason I’m particularly hung up on this is because my dd never received a birthday gift from my other SIL earlier this year, which was very unusual but we both agreed that as the recipient we couldn’t say “where’s the gift?” and it was incumbent upon SIL to send a “hope it arrived!” message to open the door for us to tell her nothing arrived this year. But here we are as the sender and I feel like I can’t say anything here either to confirm that it did arrive and they aren’t also sitting around thinking “that’s weird that they never sent a gift this year.”

Try to tactfully reach out? Or say nothing and add potentially missing birthday gifts to the weirdness of 2020?[/quote]

So, your niece? I find it odd that you didn't refer to the child that way.[/quote]

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