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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]   This is just for procedures requiring a separate driver and caregiver. She still drives otherwise, though that within the next few years we will need a driver for her. She can afford to pay well for someone good.

The last I did this for my mother I ended up with a [b]3 day migraine and an emergency therapy appointment[/b] from the stress of her criticizing my driving and being difficult and controlling/pushing buttons. I was[b] still recovering from a tantrum [/b]she had at me a previous week. I think she would behave better for a sweet stranger who is being paid. Basically, the person would need to drive her to procedure, stay with her and then be there in case of emergency during recovery. I too would when possible/work/family life allows show up for procedure and check on things after. For any major procedure I would definitely be there, but cannot be her primary person.  I need to be able to quickly leave and know she is well-cared for if [b]she takes out her anxiety on me[/b]. Also, I absolutely cannot drive her anymore. It never goes well and I am afraid I will get into an accident. I tried bringing a grandchild or 2 as a buffer, but if she is agitated enough [b]she is nasty to me [/b]in front of them and it really upsets them. As I said, she behaves better for outsiders and can actually be quite charming.[/quote]

OMG why are you even helping her?   Your mother sounds awful!   Let her "quite charming" self figure this out on her own![/quote]

Thanks. My mother's response would be "My god you're a sensitive baby!" It's so complicated and multi-faceted. I think most people who know her would never believe what she is like to me...sometimes. Sometimes, I see the pleasant side.[/quote]

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