Reply to Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]After 3 yrs that was his girlfriend. [/quote]

Maybe but rarely. Even unmarried guys will "hide" a girlfriend for a long period. Some people will just never be a girlfriend. There is something about them that "can't be shown".

Men pick very different APs than they do girlfriends. A girlfriend you love and want to show off, an AP is convenient and disposable.

But that is not your business OP the AP could have been any disposable person, this specific one is irrelevant.  [/quote]

This.  It also depends on how often they saw each other and were in contact.

If it was once a month and not even every month that’s different.  Were they in public?

My spouse had an affair that was sex 1-2 times and not every month.  They would also have several months in a row where they didn’t see each other at all.

He would never be seen with her in public.  Not somebody he ever saw a future with or would want as a girlfriend/wife.

It’s crazy they can compartmentalize.

You don’t need to make any decisions yet.  Individual therapy for both of you first.  [/quote]

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