Anonymous
09/25/2020 07:34
Subject: Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:After 3 yrs that was his girlfriend.
Maybe but rarely. Even unmarried guys will "hide" a girlfriend for a long period. Some people will just never be a girlfriend. There is something about them that "can't be shown".
Men pick very different APs than they do girlfriends. A girlfriend you love and want to show off, an AP is convenient and disposable.
But that is not your business OP the AP could have been any disposable person, this specific one is irrelevant.
This. It also depends on how often they saw each other and were in contact.
If it was once a month and not even every month that’s different. Were they in public?
My spouse had an affair that was sex 1-2 times and not every month. They would also have several months in a row where they didn’t see each other at all.
He would never be seen with her in public. Not somebody he ever saw a future with or would want as a girlfriend/wife.
It’s crazy they can compartmentalize.
You don’t need to make any decisions yet. Individual therapy for both of you first.
Anonymous
09/25/2020 07:15
Subject: Re:Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Survivinginfidelity.com will be a great help to you.
Anonymous
09/25/2020 07:12
Subject: Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Anonymous wrote:After 3 yrs that was his girlfriend.
Maybe but rarely. Even unmarried guys will "hide" a girlfriend for a long period. Some people will just never be a girlfriend. There is something about them that "can't be shown".
Men pick very different APs than they do girlfriends. A girlfriend you love and want to show off, an AP is convenient and disposable.
But that is not your business OP the AP could have been any disposable person, this specific one is irrelevant.
Anonymous
09/25/2020 07:09
Subject: Re:Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Yes, it is possible to "get over it" but I wouldn't, I don't recommend it.
First, you both need at least 6 months of individual therapy.
Here is the thing, you want to give him hope for at least 9 months that you might forgive him... most guys will completely forget about an AP after 6 months no contact.
After 6 months of therapy you should plan to divorce next summer.
First, you both need at least 6 months of individual therapy.
Here is the thing, you want to give him hope for at least 9 months that you might forgive him... most guys will completely forget about an AP after 6 months no contact.
After 6 months of therapy you should plan to divorce next summer.
Anonymous
09/25/2020 06:18
Subject: Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Anonymous wrote:After 3 yrs that was his girlfriend.
+1. This isn’t an oopsie, this is a double life.
Anonymous
09/25/2020 06:04
Subject: Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Anonymous wrote:No it’s not. Divorce because basically he already did. You’re just finishing what he started.
This
Anonymous
09/25/2020 05:58
Subject: Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
No it’s not. Divorce because basically he already did. You’re just finishing what he started.
Anonymous
09/25/2020 05:56
Subject: Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Why is he confessing after 3 years? Why now? Is she pregnant?
Anonymous
09/25/2020 05:40
Subject: Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Don’t do more work than him to fix the marriage. He broke it, he needs to be the one to fix it.
Anonymous
09/25/2020 04:47
Subject: Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
One day at a time
Anonymous
09/25/2020 03:27
Subject: Re:Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Anonymous wrote:Not sure why you’re asking Internet strangers. Only you can decide this.
Because people do it everyday.....for advice, compassion.
Anonymous
09/25/2020 03:24
Subject: Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Anonymous wrote:After 3 yrs that was his girlfriend.
This. The level of deception, commitment, and feelings/attachment that go into making a 3 year affair work is something I could never forgive. It would be immediate divorce.
Anonymous
09/25/2020 03:21
Subject: Re:Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Not sure why you’re asking Internet strangers. Only you can decide this.
Anonymous
09/25/2020 02:26
Subject: Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
After 3 yrs that was his girlfriend.
Anonymous
09/25/2020 02:06
Subject: Long term affair... trying to wrap my head around if it’s even possible to get over your DH’s 3 yr
Affair. I don’t have all the details but he has confessed it was highly sexual. Married 15 years, two kids.