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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Agree that having toys and respect are two different things.  But, you both need to get on the same page.  [b]You can't buy so much that you make your family's home miserable for your husband. [/b] But, kids do like toys - not sure about need.

Personally, I don't see any issue with kids of all ages doing chores.  In our house, everyone participates in running of the house and your level of participation depends on your age.  I mean, I wouldn't expect 2 and 5 year olds to scrub the toilet, but I would expect mine to bring in groceries from the car after we shop.

As to eating, people deal with that in different ways.  I don't see declining food as disrespect and I was never a food pusher.  I can see how that could get to a battle of the wills and devolve.  I also don't see not wanting a parent as disrespect - kids do have preferences.  But, I can see how hurt feelings could arise.

Also, I was brought up with no toys or gifts except on holidays and I do not ascribe to that sentiment.  But, I do think that not answering when your parent is talking to you is absolutely disrespectful even if you are busy watching YouTube.  It's disrespectful when adults do it too.  And, you really do want your kids to appreciate what you give them.  You cannot imagine what it is like to have an entitled tween and teen.   What you instill now will carryover to how they behave when they are older.

Overall, a theme that I felt from your post is that you do things your way and don't include your husband.  It's your money so you can make his environment miserable for him.  That's not really fair.  I would bet that some of these issue that you are describing would not be such problems if you included him as your partner and co-parent.  [/quote]

This.  If your house is cluttered and it bothers your husband, you need to figure out how to de-clutter it.  And probably your kid does NOT need so many toys -- you might want your kid to have those things, but they are not necessary.  And it doesn't matter what your friends do, it matters what the two of you agree on.  So it's probably the case that you need to stop buying so much stuff.  You're setting expectations about material stuff that you might regret as the kid gets older.  It's true that kids are rarely as appreciative and grateful as parents think they should be, because whatever they have just seems normal to them -- so you want to make sure that you set "normal" at a reasonable place.

And you guys need to agree about basic behavior.  It IS rude and disrespectful to ignore your parent when they speak to you.  (Also, your comment that your kid ignores Dad when he's watching YouTube, and then your claim that a house filled with toys is better than watching TV, seem to contradict each other.)  Your five-year-old CAN and SHOULD be doing at least one or two age-appropriate chores -- little kids can help take out trash, set and clear the table for meals, pick up their own toys, etc.

And OMG you should not be talking about taking a bite of food for 10-15 minutes.  That sounds awful.  You set the rule, and you set the consequence, and then you enforce it.  You don't spend forever lecturing a little kid.  It's a giant waste of time.  [/quote]

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