Reply to If you had a parent who treated you badly and treated everyone outside of family better

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am so sorry you went through that. This is not an uncommon story.People's public personas can be very different that their private behavior. I have found Dr. Ramani's youtube videos on narcissism helpful. I gave up trying to convince anyone my mother is different in private. now I just say "That is great that you get to see that side of her" and leave it at that. It's easy to wonder "why did she chose me as her scapegoat" and the answer is "because she is a limited and mentally unhealthy person." Have no or low expectation for her. Detach from her. Imagine a body of armor where her nastiness bounces right off. Don't let her get too close. Keep conversations superficial and have boundaries. Have boundaries with those who adore her. Fangirlz have their own issues and most savvy people know abusers can be quite charming.

You didn't deserve this. You have a right to protect yourself. Have a game plan for the next time she insults you...change subject or end convo and leave. Do not confront her...she will deny and gaslight you. Just have your limits and exit stage left. Always remain calm and in control. Disturbed people love emotion and it feeds the beast. 
" [/quote]

DP But this is great advice. Thanks for writing it out so well[/quote]

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