Reply to If you had a parent who treated you badly and treated everyone outside of family better

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[quote=Anonymous]How did you learn to accept this?

My mother is therapist and was very well known in her field prior to retiring. Growing up she was a pillar of social support for many people, particular low income families. She’s always been revered for generosity to so many families..now receiving awards and recognition etc. However at home I was her target to ridicule or dismiss. While she was out helping other women or families in need, she missed many my school activities, never provided any interest or praise for my accomplishments and didn’t protect me from her dysfunctional family and at times was physically abusive. A few times in my teenage years I had moved out to stay with other friends and family and was perceived as an unappreciative and ungrateful child. If I expressed my feelings about my mom I was always met with-How could I treat such a wonderful woman so badly? I was just never believed and am still not that my mother was very unkind towards me. I’m now a mother and she had turned out to be an amazing grandmother but I have difficulty moving on. When she spends time with my kids she still finds ways to be subtle critical or to compare me with my older sister. I have vowed not to repeat her mistakes and feel this has made me a supportive mother to my kids, but I still feel this anger towards my mother. We’ve tried to talk about it, but she just cries and says I’m mean and can’t move on. I’m at a loss. My kids want to be by her all the time but when I’m around I just am reminded that she never really liked me as a person.  [/quote]

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