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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If the kids are occupied without screens, nothing is getting destroyed, no one is getting hurt, and the kids are having fun, who cares?
My parents were very involved, but they rarely actively played with me. That’s what my brothers were for, or I played alone. [b]It’s a weird expectation that parents need to do this all the time.[/b] I spent time with parents being involved in what they were doing (cooking, yard work, whatever) when we were home, or the kids just played on their own. 
Also, I’ve never had a designated “play time” for my kids. Is this a set time in your house? I recommend relaxing & not looking for problems that don’t appear to be there (from your description). [/quote]

I play with my kid sometimes, but she also plays by herself for long stretches of time.  Kids don't need you on the floor with them, directing their play, all the time.  They need time to use their imaginations, to figure out what to do, to have minor squabbles and figure out how to deal with them (step in if it looks like someone might get hurt), to direct their own play.  This develops important skills.

So yes, many families let their kids play on their own at playtime.  Your five-year-old, especially, is old enough for independent play.  And it doesn't hurt the 20-month-old to do that sometimes, too.  You're wrong, your husband is right.

Now, whether he should be sitting on his phone all the time is different -- personally, I think he should be reading a book or a magazine instead, to model that reading is a pleasurable habit.  And hopefully he engages with them sometimes -- reading a story at bedtime, doing baths, etc.  But he isn't wrong that you don't need to be playing with your kids all the time.  [/quote]

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