Reply to Suggestions re Spouse over-eating / stress eating

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[quote=Anonymous]First, understand that he probably IS “listening to his body”. If your body has a gentle hunger switch, his body, as you’ve suggested may not have a “hunger switch” or may have one that was overridden very early on in his life.  You seem to be talking about multiple things:
-the shock that you and your daughter feel 
- his weight
- his eating habits
- what he actually eats 
- and his history of on-going severe trauma

They are interrelated, but not necessarily amenable to one intervention.

You may view it different since, of course, you know him.

Of these — or other — factors, which one do you think your husband would feel the most comfortable working on? Talking about? Owning as a challenge that he would like to change?

I would suggest focusing on something other than his weight first.  Would he be interested in interventions that address the trauma? Often people are willing to do this to learn how to build healthier family dynamics than they, themselves, experienced.

I’m not clear that the amount he’s eating is unhealthy. Perhaps regular exercise could mitigate the impact of eating more than you do if he’s sedentary. 
It seems as though he’s eating impulsively, with little joy.  Perhaps that could be a place to start?  Most people don’t eat like this at restaurants or formal meals — where multiple courses in small-ish portions provide time for savoring one’s food as well as time for one’s body to register satisfaction.

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