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[quote=Anonymous]My nephew and niece are very similar. Same age difference, very similar personalties. Older boy is much more sensitive to criticism and jokes, younger girl very bold and confident.

I concur with others that this is not a problem, but will dictate some of your parenting.

Something I saw recently is that when my brother got divorced, many members of the family said my niece was "handling it better" because she was not as visibly upset as her brother. This really bothered me because it is insulting to both children. My nephew is not handling his parents divorce poorly just because he is visibly upset. Who wouldn't be! It's not his job to make the adults feel better by acting as though it is all normal and fine. Meanwhile, I do think his sister is more people pleasing and cheerful, and that her positive attitude is at least partly for the benefit of her parents. This is actually pretty classic gender socialization (the girl doing emotional labor for the others in her life by "handling" this huge life change with little emotion and making it easier on others, while the boy is being more vocal about his unhappiness and asking for help). Really both kids should be assumed to need assistance to get through it and neither should be shamed for needing it.

Anyway, I would simply be careful how you think about your kids' personalities. A sensitive kid is often a thoughtful kid, a kind kid, an artistic and bookish kid. And a confident kid may have lots going on under the surface that you might not know about (and may be putting on a brave face in part because they see you seem frustrated or annoyed with the emotions and needs of the older child).[/quote]

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