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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to be more specific with them. Not "he's got issues that prevent..." but "He has an addiction, which is genetic so you need to be VERY careful when you start drinking, and he prioritizes drinking over anything else, including, unfortunately, you." Then go from there. [/quote]

This seems like overkill.

I would tell them that their father has an addiction to alcohol, which is a sickness, and that until he is able to cure himself of that disease he is incapable of being a good father or like the fathers of most of their classmates.  You wish things were different, but it is not something that either you nor they can control, and that you think it's admirable for wanting to stay in his life even when he lets them down.

There's no need to tell them they are genetically wired to be addicts themselves, or that their dad is a "narcissist" (which I suspect was just OP's characterization here to underscore how frustrating it is to deal with him). [/quote]

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