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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I am a lawyer myself and have been for nearly 20 years.  Somehow being honest and straight forward in the divorce process has gotten me nowhere. My husband goes on and on and on about perceived wrongs and is able to convince others due largely to his lack of emphathy, ease in making false statements and incredible gift of gab. As someone who now sees how manipulative a person with bpd can be, I was wondering whether there are lawyers who are more familiar with this personality type so that I dont have to keep pointing out that my husband a "liar" and saying things that make me look crazy while he remains calm and comes across as a sympathetic person.  I understand my lawyer was not very good at handling this situation and so I am wondering if there are others who have had experience with an attorney who can see through this nonsense rather than wait and be educated about it.

For people who have not had a close relationship with Borderline I can tell you that it can take quite some time to realize what is going on...even if you understand the legal system very well.  For people who have, it takes an instant and they "get it."  It just so happened that the latest drama happened in front of a childhood friend while we were all on vacation. She is the head of a large medical center and a very well respected doctor.  She watched me strugged for 2 days while I lay in her guest room sick to my stomach over what was happening. One evening she quietly said "he's borderline."  I had no idea what that meant untill I looked it up and then a thousand light bulbs came on.

For the poster who made comments about abuse, I will add that DH's mother is SCARY abusive.  I have never seen anyone go after people like she does and then act like nothing happened (in fact, the whole family acts like nothing happened.)  I am so scared of her vitriolic comments and bulling demeanor that I have not gone to visit her home I witnessed a family fight that left a couple of her elementary aged grandchildren running and locking themselves in the bathroom and crying.  Their parents were present and so was my husband but everyone was "cool" with it and sat down to a nice dinner 20 minutes later and "talked about the weather."  The ironiy is...she's a kingergarten teacher and has been for 35 years!

Again, thanks for all the feedback. It is all very informative.

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