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[quote=Anonymous]So funny story. When my kid was 3 I looked after a friends kid also 3 and her younger brother for a whole day because the Mom was doing something with the older SN child.
We got in the car and I lifted my3yo into her car seat and strapped her in, then did the same for the 1yo. When I looked at the other 3yo she was in her seat, all strapped in and ready to go. She told me she always does it herself.

She also brushed her own teeth and was super independent in general. My kid was and still is an only and I think sometimes we do more for them than we need to just because we can and its quicker.
My friends 3yo has a severely disabled older sibling and a toddler younger sibling so became independent because she had to.

So I think you need to find what works for you and what doesn't OP. 
6yo should definitely be self sufficent in the bathroom, if they make a mess they clean it up. 4yo should be mostly sufficient too I would think.
They should both be able to dress themselves and get undressed at bedtime.
Make sure you allow time for these things to happen though, it always takes longer when they do it themselves.[/quote]

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