Reply to How do you and your spouse settle black / white parenting disagreements

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The fact that you both see people connected to the other parent as unsafe actually helps. In your situation, I think you could just agree that you both need to be comfortable with a caregiver. I think it's more difficult when one parent is untrusting of all caregivers and the other parent is very comfortable. [/quote]

+1  No vote wins.

That said, don't just reflexively say no.  Think about what you're actually worried about and don't make it a line in the sand.  My ILs are not as mobile as my mom and I don't necessarily think they have the energy to keep up with DD right now.  But when she's older and better at following directions I think she can spend the night at their house, go with them to watch movies, etc.  They're not careless or irresponsible, they're just not in the best health.  A no now isn't a no forever, y'know?[/quote]

This.

I think it’s much easier to say “Great idea! But not yet.” than to say no altogether. Instead of focusing on why it doesn’t work right now, focus on talking about why it will work later.

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