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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like your kids are getting ALL the attention, frankly. Say no to some activities. Spend quality time with your husband, or build down time into your routine, instead of treating him like a servant who just needs to do chores and sh*t with the kids. You’ve made a life that revolves completely around your kids to the utter neglect of your marriage and anyone having down time. Do your kids even know how to entertain themselves or have any “bored” time where they learn to entertain themselves? Really, hiding behind the couch crying because they’re not getting attention? The problem here is not the husband. [/quote]

Agreed.  I can't imagine not allowing myself or DH any downtime.  That would make for some VERY cranky and exhausted parents.  Your kids are 6,4,and 11 months.  You don't need to be so busy with activities.  Take some downtime.  Build in relaxation time for BOTH of you.  I get that you want DH to be more involved, but frankly your life sounds exhausting and I can't blame him for checking out a bit.

It also sounds like you have some anxiety, have you ever been diagnosed? [/quote]

OP here. Our downtime is after the kids go to bed (from 8 to 11 or so). We also occasionally take a weekend trip and before baby cake we did week long trips once or twice a year. We do focus in our relationship too, but since the baby arrived it hasn’t been as easy. It’s hard for anyone to handle 3 kids with very different ages and needs.

I am a bit of an anxious person, but it has never been an issue in life. DH is the most relaxed person on the planet and I do feel that if I am not the one planning, organizing and deciding, we would still be living in his 1 bedroom apartment and would still be deciding on whether we should have kids[/quote]

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