Reply to Safe Car Service for Elderly Mom in NoVA

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. This is all great advice. I am local but work full time and stretched thin with childcare, job, house, etc. I have adjusted my work schedule to help with driving my dad to his treatments a couple times a week, visiting mom, cooking and running errands a couple times a week, and managing stuff by phone and email. But I feel tapped out and unable to do more while caring for my family and keeping my job.

They need more help than I can give so I am working on that. They won’t qualify for need based programs so I am now weighing working with an agency or individual caregivers to provide assistance. Are there case managers who can help with coordinating care if they won’t qualify for financial assistance. Or is that me? Sigh.[/quote]

Hire people ASAP. I get sucked into all this and my parents starting throwing tantrums once I finally hired out. They got too used to it and had lost the ability to empathize. I was depressed trying to juggle helping them with my own family and job and you need to rip the bandaid now before it will give you a nervous breakdown. There are places that deliver food. Get a case manager on the ball and start sucking through the money to save your own sanity. Hire drivers. Also use your time to look into residential places. I really think aging in place is a disaster in many cases from not being able to elder proof everything to aides not showing up or steeling. By stealing I don't just mean stealing items, I mean giving your parents a sob story so they will write a check. Get help from the case manager with exploring residential and then have the case manager help you if you go that route. They know how to talk to elders in a way they can listen. Plus as the adult child, it can be impossible because they want you to be their subordinate.[/quote]

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