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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Blaming others for everything"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, it sounds fairly normal to me. My 4 year old can be like this to an extent. For example, he's the world's sorest loser at the moment. We were playing a game yesterday and I kept scoring more goals than him, which got him to completely lose control (grandma always lets him win so I was trying to temper the expectation). I hugged him, said I completely understood his feelings and that they were normal, but that we can learn to channel them differently. Then we watched some clips of his favorite tennis players (he loves Nadal and Serena) when they lose their cool after conceding a point. I pointed out that even they sometimes can't keep it together when they lose but mostly they know how the channel the disappointment. Then we watched videos of the same tennis players shaking hands with opponents after losing a match. We watched Osaka and Serena hug it out. He watched so carefully and calmed down considerably. I reiterated to him that his desire to win and not lose will serve him well and that it was normal, but that it was also ok to lose sometimes and that it happens even to the best of the best. Today we played the same game, and again, I didn't let him win. He took it much much better. He eventually suggested we change the rules so that the game is more collaborative and no one would have to lose. I gave him lots of praise for channeling his feelings in a better way and then we played on the same team for a while, scoring goals on an empty net and laughing. So my advice is lots of hugs and patience and reasoning. And listen to him. There is a concern underlying his behavior but it can be hard to get them to tell you what it is. They are little and they don't really understand what is happening or why they have the feelings they do. (Oh, and of course make sure he is not hungry or tired. I hope that goes without saying.)[/quote]
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