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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not trying to be snarky, but do you have 2 DCs and are trying to figure out #3? We had 3 under 4, my partner is in big law, and I work FT. They are now 2, 4, and almost 6, so it Is still a physical grind, even though one has started kindergarten. But if you have 2 and are thinking about #3, you will probably be ok - you already have a lot of your support network set up. If you don’t already have 2, have the 2 and see how it is going before worrying about this.

We have had a nanny, but prefer a combination of daycare/ preschool/ aftercare for child care during my work hours. We have a mother’s helper  once a week, high kicked in when #3 was about 6 months and I was losing my mind doing solo bedtime each weeknight. Just knowing I had help once a week made everything seem better. When DC #3 was about 18 months it got a lot easier and now the mother’s helper comes so I can have individual time w my kids in the evening.

I used to do mornin routines largely alone because we didn’t leave the house until 9 with the kids and DH would have work calls or meetings starting at 9 so woul want to leave by 8. I finally told my DH he could not leave the house unless he helped me get the kids out the door - it was just taking too long getting them all ready on my own, doin drop off and then pick up and bedtime solo. We all get up one hour earlier to get out the door by 7:45, but I am so much happier.

It is a grind physically, but also mentally. There are moments when everyone is screaming or crying and you just want to put them down and walk away, and instead you have to stay calm and cheerful and get everyone back on track and then you still need to head into th office and get your work done. Or when you are up every couple of hours because one child is teething and it goes on like that for a week.

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Yes I have 2 (1 and 2.5yo) and am entirely exhausted at the end of the day but would love to have one more if I can get through the first few years without losing it.  I’m old so can’t wait for a bigger gap (not even sure a 3rd would happen, 1st was tough to conceive, second was easy), I work but am open to not in theory though I think trying to take care of 3 all day would be brutal with no relief,, and dh works very long hours.  I could get some help whether I work or not to make first few years more manageable, get all 3 some individual attention.  and make sure the middle child didn’t get lost in the shuffle and the baby didn’t spend all day in the car only getting cat naps.  I’m trying to think through what that might look like to meet the needs of 3 such little ones and no one getting the short end of the stick / not getting a chance to be a baby / gettting lost in shuffle. I think long term 2 siblings would be better for each of them, but short term don’t want to turn their toddlerhoods into never leaving the house bc it’s too hard with 3 etc[/quote]

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