Reply to telling reason for separation/divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I would never lie or refuse to tell the truth about a spouse's affair (or my own had I had one), to a child who asked.

OTOH, I did not tell my kids about their father's many, many affairs/infidelities. They were both under age 5. I also refused to lie and say we "fell out of love". I simply explained that parents who live together had to agree about a lot of things -- money, friends, where to live, how to treat each other, etc., that Daddy and I disagreed about some of those things. We tried to get someone to help us come to an agreement but we couldn't so we would be divorcing, but that even though Daddy and I would no longer live in the same house, they (the kids) would still see their Dad very often even if he didn't live in our home.

My DD never asked any other questions beyond my explanation as to why. Her only concern was when she would see Dad and what her own living situation would be.
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This is 100% the best approach.  Children need to know that there is a serious reason for their parents to make such a monumental, disruptive decision.  If you try to hide it by saying "oh, we just grew apart," that suggests to your kids that all relationships have a shelf life, and then when you grow apart, you just go your separate ways.  That's not a healthy model for ANY committed relationship, unless you are trying to raise sociopaths.  You don't need to give all the sordid details, but they need to know that there was a commitment and that commitment was broken.  Depending on the age of the kids, PP is 100% correct that the kids will just want to know how it will effect their daily lives and if they will still get to see both parents.  If there was infidelity, the kids will ALWAYS find out eventually.  Always.  It's better to hear it from the parent who committed the act than from meddling family members, neighbors, etc.  It will come out.  Too many people know, and NO ONE outside the cheating couple has any interest in keeping such a secret. 
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