Reply to How to decide how strict/lenient to be?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Rules for the sake of rules will cause conflict and unnecessary drama[/b]. I'd encourage you to think about what kinds of values you're trying to develop in your family and in your children. Rules should flow from that and support values and goals for the child and for the family. That will give you a credible framework to speak from when setting rules and enforcing them. For example, you don't want electronics in the room past bedtime because good sleep habits are healthy for everyone. (You may need to forego electronics in your room to set the example here.) You want limits on screen time because it is important to truly be present for each other when in the house, and to model what it looks like to be present to friends in a real way and not always mediated through a screen. Again, if there are limits, it usually works better if they apply to the whole family.[/quote]

The bolded has been an important thing for me to remember.  I found myself wanting to seriously limit screen time for no other reason than to limit it, and be able to say I did.  Then I thought it through...my kids get enough sleep (most of the time), finish their homework on time without any prodding from me, maintain good grades, stay physically active, and participate in school activities.  The older one even has a part time job.  If they want to spend their down time outside of those things watching videos or playing games within certain parameters (we do monitor any apps downloaded and limit social media, no electronics at the table, wifi cuts off at 9:30PM and they have extremely limited data plans), is that really the worst thing?  Turns out that, in our household at least, it's not...things are a lot more pleasant around here since we switched to that model and the kids are still thriving.  I don't agree with limits applying to the whole family, though.  My kids currently do have the same limits based on their ages, but things were absolutely different when one was in HS with a phone and the other was in ES without a phone, for example.[/quote]

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