Reply to "My child is so mature and so independant for her age..."

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Reply to ""My child is so mature and so independant for her age...""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't buy the theory.  I would describe my kids as very mature and independent for their age, but I also describe myself as a borderline helicopter parent.  The difference is that I push them to do adult things, but I'm always right there to support them.  For example, my almost-3yo daily does big-kid chores like setting the table, putting away laundry, taking out recycling, loading the dishwasher, helping with meals, etc., but for the most part I am right beside him.  And my kids regularly play work out disagreements over toys, etc. without my help, but always with me within earshot, so that they can bounce off me for help, or I can step in if things get out of hand.  So, while I agree that there are parents who borderline neglect their kids and then congratulate themselves on valuing independence, I think it's both unfair and unwise to tar anyone who values independence with the same brush.[/quote]

Your 2 yo can load the dishwasher and take out recyclables?  Unassisted?[/quote]

Sometimes helicopter parents have parentified kids too.  One of the signs is that kids are pushed to do adult tasks before they are ready.  Chores are great but too many responsibilities at a young age are a big red flag.[/quote]

First PP here.  As I said, I am right there, so it is a controled environment (i.e., I load all glass and sharp knives, DS does all the plastic and metal dishes and cutlery, DS is in charge of gathering all recyclables, I carry it to the curb).  To the latter PP, I think it's wonderful for kids to have a sense of accomplishment and knowing that they are capable.  I am all for free play and relaxation, in fact, my kids switxh days being the designated helper, so if one spends 45 minutes cooking and cleaning with me, not only does that child get time one on one with me and hands-on tasks, the other child gets 45 minutes of uninterupted play without sibling or parent commenting on or interfereing with play.  I schedule time in the day for my kids to follow their own interests because I want them to have the freedom of childhood, but I also schedule time working, because I want them to have the confidence and self-esteem of knowing that they have mastered a task.  Anyone who has heard a child exclaim with glee, "I did it!"  should know that pushing a child to master as much as they can of the world around them doesn't stifle childhood, it gives children the keys to their personal kingdom.[/quote]

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