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[quote=Anonymous]I grew up in an abusive household (father very physically abusive). So, there some issues among me and my brother and sister with depression, anxiety, PTSD etc. In particular, one sibling targeted me nonstop with physical and verbal abuse growing up. One of the two has been treated extensively, and can act normal for long stretches of time, and then out of the blue, due to some life stressor, acts insanely and verbally abusive to me- we are talking screaming, yelling curse words, acting like a psycho.  I'm close with this sibling, but this type of behavior is not acceptable to me.  For a long time, they expected me to "forget" it happened or "accept" that I am also to blame (i.e. will make up a story of what happened that somehow put some blame on me- since the behavior is unprovoked, its usually a sadly laughable twist). In the past, after they blow up, they will try to make up for it by being "extra nice".  It reminds me a lot of my father's behavior and cycle of abuse.

Its very very damaging to me to have to deal with this, so I no longer do, and its very very hard for the sibling to accept that if they want to be in my life, they must acknowledge what they have done and apologize. I can forgive them, but now that I am an adult with my own nuclear family responsibilities, I refuse to be gas-lighted and pretend like we are okay.

I feel that by requiring that they acknowledge their bad behavior to me, and apologize directly to me, it is less likely for them to repeat that behavior.   Is that correct?

I'd like to maintain a relationship, but I can't seem to do that because of this crazy behavior.  Its sad, because our kids are and should be close, but my siblings behavior limits interactions that require coordination (because I can't speak with a sibling who thinks its okay to go completely crazy, and then expect me to be okay with it). I do like my sibling a lot when they aren't acting insane.

Anyone else deal with this situation?  Over the long term did it ever get better?  [/quote]

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