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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Adopting after secondary infertility"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. My mother actually adopted a family friend's older child out of foster care recently and foster to adopt would be our preference. The issue with foster care is that our first child is still preschool age and we wouldn't want to go out of birth order. Plus we're in DC and my understanding is they have pretty much a 0% adoption rate/100% reunification rate. We'd be amenable to moving to another jurisdiction with more conducive foster to adopt policies, but wouldn't be able to do that for at least a few years and emotionally our family will need to be complete and able to move on from the hardship of infertility and failure by then. What is the answer then? I would rather not have another child than "buy" a child or participate in shady adoption practices, but no, I'm absolutely not going to bring a traumatized, high needs older child into my preschooler's home. That is not safe or fair for anyone. Are we just out of luck then?[/quote]
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