Reply to Excessively dependent mother still completely helpless months after dad's death

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Excessively dependent mother still completely helpless months after dad's death"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Absolutely do not even consider moving her back there. That would be ridiculous! It will just take time. I think you need to make sure you are not enabling her too much. For example, point out the trash that needs picking up but get her to do it. Also, the day weekends are not sustainable. Could she move closer to one of you? If not start making every few weeks a a 2 day one until they are all 2 day & go from there. She will not learn unless you stop making it too easy for her.

I don’t mean to sound harsh - my mom died quickly a few years ago and she had been the one to do all of the household stuff, bills, food, etc. We had to show my dad a few basics but of course he has been able to do it all now. It was also a good distraction and kept him busy when he was adjust to his new normal. [/quote]
The trash is a good example. I've pointed out that she needs to put it in the trash can, and a big argument will ensue. She keeps saying that if I am there, I can do it. The last time I stormed out of there, NOT doing it, and when my sister went back the following weekend, the trash was even worse. Sis dumped everything in the trash. But the cycle repeats.

I realize we are enabling her, but she becomes extremely irate if required to do something on her own, even something simple. It's classic manipulation, but it's worked for her for all these years. I don't think trying to change her at age 88 will work.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics