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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think a few words of understanding would go a long way.  Connect with hm.  See him.

He’s definitely hurting!

[/quote]

I mean I try! The baby naps for 3-4 hours a day and we spend that time one on one. I give him so much love and affection. I listen to him. I honestly don’t know what else to do! (And for the record he isn’t that bad- he is still sunny 70% of the time I’d say, it’s just these outbursts , or occasionally whole days, that make me feel so bad) do you have any specific ideas? I will take any advice [/quote]

PP who posted this.  I think in the moment, try saying something that really connects with what he's feeling.  My 4 year old right now gets like this sometimes.  I look him in the eye and say: "You're really angry right now.  You're feeling so frustrated.  It's so hard that XYZ is happening."  And usually he just crumbles.  It's like, just naming the thing and him knowing that I understand is enough.  After a good cry, we talk.  I'll say something like: "The words you used to daddy were very hurtful.  We're going to practice different ways of saying things that are less hurtful" and then we role play, which is usually kind of fun, because by then the strong emotions are over, and he's more receptive to listening.

Also, sometimes he's just a typical 4 year old and no connecting or whatever helps.  He's tired, or hungry, or about to get sick, or just woke up on the wrong side of the bed![/quote]

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