Reply to My sister has turned into one of the trashiest people I’ve ever known & I’m heart broken

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here:

I don't live near my sister, my parents do so I cannot swing by to take her kids or help out.  I live 3 hours away and have my own children with their own needs.  I have tried over the years to be more involved and then my own marriage and children suffered so I had to make a choice and I chose my nuclear family.  I am only one person, and I couldn't do it all.

My sister is married and has been gainfully employed for over a decade as a nurse.  I don't believe she drinks on the job. I don't believe she is an alcoholic in the traditional sense (if there is one).  She does however drink on vacation to excess and goes out with her friends regularly to party (taking Ubers).

She is married.  My BIL is a jerk.  He isn't hands on with the kids, he is mean, and probably calls her fat, lazy, etc.  She's come to me asking for divorce help, I get her lawyer recs and talk to friends who are divorce lawyers and they wait for her to call and then she changes her mind and blames me for suggesting she break up her family.  Rinse, repeat.  She did this again just two weeks ago.

My husband and I have discussed stepping in for custody a year ago and spoke to LCSW and two attorneys and they all said we would't get custody and the children would be more traumatized at this point.  My sister did agree to get my nephew into therapy for behavioral issues, but I think his parents are always yelling at him.  My mother and I found out she's taken him out of therapy because it was too expensive.  So we begged her to take him back and that we would pay.  She won't get him tested for her public school system because I think he desperately needs a behavioral plan (whatever those are called) but she doesn't want him "labeled for life".

My father literally had shortness of breath and had to go to the hospital on Thursday over dealing with my sister's nasty behavior.  My mother said my sister is on medication for anxiety, but it doesn't seem like it's working.

I can definitely access the situation, my 40 year old sister has turned into the "Cash Me Outside" Girl. [/quote]

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