Reply to How did your spouse (or you) resolve long-term unemployment?

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[quote=Anonymous]If your spouse or partner was unemployed long term (like 3-5 years or more), how did it get resolved? Did he or she get a job in the same industry but at a lower level? Decide to do unskilled or blue collar labor? Never really work again?

Did you divorce? If so, did you end up paying high amounts of child support and alimony because he or she had no recent record of earning a salary? Did the courts take into account that your ex-spouse was physically capable of working when doing the calculations?

My spouse has now been unemployed so many years that I can't imagine anyone hiring him. The jobs he talks about applying for (but doesn't) are totally out of reach -- they would have been realistic years ago, but not anymore. He has a couple people (friend, family) that could probably get him a low-level job, but they live very far away in places I would never move to.

Yes, he is depressed, says he has (undiagnosed) anxiety, and he's got executive function issues (not sure if it's linked to ADD or something like that). He won't go on medication or therapy "because they don't work."

I'm feeling stuck because if I divorce I'll have to pay him tremendous amounts of child support according to all the calculators. I think sometimes it's better to keep him around because he's not a big spender and he is a full partner in caring for our (young) children. I don't love him anymore and wouldn't miss him if he were gone, but I can't afford to pay child support in the required amounts.

I want to believe that he can work again, but I see no evidence of that right now.[/quote]

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