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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Serious question. I’m beating myself up over an incident last night and trying to determine if I was a good mom or not. If not, what to change.  Larla, 6yo, bedtime after a few atypical prebed activities (making brownies, up a tad late, brush teeth again after allowed small bite to try). Laying in bed. Won’t stop talking playing. Larla, it is bedtime quiet. Not listening. Offer strike 1-2-3. Lose iPad for tech time (1 hour)tomorrow. Continue bad bedtime behavior (can I talk to dad, will you lag with me again, loud and keeping 4yo sister up). Larla, closing the door to your room if you can’t be quiet. Strike 1-2-3 chances, close bedroom door. She loses her everloving mind. “That was my worst nightmare, screaming, you are my mother you are supposed to be nice to me.” My heart is racing st this point. I go downstairs. Still screaming. Poor tired 4 yo.  Long story short. I tell her to lay down quietly and I will come in. I feel bad. She is hyperventilating. I rub her back, promise to not shut door as punishment again, calm her. She falls asleep.

Holy moly. Does she need help? Is this normal?. Did I mess up in how it was handled? She is a challenge on occassion.[/quote]

No, she doesn’t “need help.”  It was a bad evening, mistakes were made and you escalated things for sure, but it happens to everyone sometimes-truly. [/quote]

One, the removing Ipad punishment doesnt work. Punishment cant be later- try reading up on this.

You closed the door on her- it is a physical show of the fact that you dont give a f***- that is why she lost her mind. She was probaby overtired as were you and you both had bad reactions as a result.

Three, if she has problems going to bed then take 5 minutes every night to review what she did that day and what is the plan for tomorrow. I heard something watching the Trevor Noah show that girls reach their peak confidence in their LIFETIME by age 9. Let that soak in.  Whether it is anxiety, normal kid behavior or not, let your daughter share her day. Make that a nighttime ritual you can both count on. Once that boundary is set, then you can react, but react gently. It matters.

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