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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The narc I know became that way by being told repeatedly that she was better than everyone else and the rules didn’t apply to her because she was too pretty and too good. How is that trauma to anyone but those of us left to suffer the effects?[/quote]

Hmmm, my mother was the opposite. She is a narcissist and here is how I've pieced together her childhood:

-father molested her when she was a young girl
-mother married 3xs and had a revolving door of men around, run of thr mill slut
-her mother was beautiful and obsessed over her looks. She also placed value on beauty
-her mother was horribly physically and emotionally abusive, very much a Joan Crawford type
-her mother used guilt and weaponized love

My own mom never ever learned how to have a functional relationship, never learned to love,  and took up many of these personality traits,  though to a much lesser extreme.

She was in no way told she was better than anyone, quite the opposite.  She was told she was shit. She had many rules, very petty rules with extreme consequences for violating the rules in the form of beatings and humiliation.

I think narcissists deep down are so so so so insecure.[/quote]

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