Reply to It's now been 4 years of TTC #2

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[quote=Anonymous]I was never able to have the last (3rd) child I wanted---TTC about 6 years.   Not the same as having a second at all but maybe some of this will help. 
What helped was a hysterectomy and time. 
1) I had a hysterectomy at age 42 for heavy cycles and fibroids.  Although it was done (and more importantly paid for) because of medical reasons, the psychological benefit was HUGE.  As long as I had a chance of getting pregnant every month I lived in perpetual limbo and was acutely aware of my inability to conceive.  Every 30 days I wondered "maybe this is the month?"  Living in that limbo for years was the worst.  Having the hysterectomy allowed me to close that door for good and forced me to move on.  Another alternative I considered was just going on birth control.  Sounds counterproductive but again, it was the limbo of "always hoping that this month was the month" that drove me crazy and prevented me from ever moving on emotionally. 
 
2) Time in general has healed the pain immensely.  My youngest child is now 8 and in 3rd grade.  Infertility has been replaced with new problems and concerns (aging parents, school issues, work concerns, etc).  There's only so long that a a pain can remain preeminent in one's mind.   I honestly never think about it anymore whereas for a long time I thought about it all the time.  Again, I recognize that the pain is stronger with wanting a second child.  It is certainly stronger for other terrible things that happen in life: loss of a child, death of a spouse, etc, etc.  But even those wounds heal with time.  If anything, they are replaced with new and more pressing concerns and they fade a bit to the background.  [/quote]

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