Even I have faced this time in my life a few months back. But I would suggest you not to give up and jsut go in for a last consultation at this fertility clinic in dubai (https://www.mmcivf.com/). I was under depression for months after my IVF failures but my husband didn't give up, we went in for the very last consult at this clinic in dubai and the treatment over here worked well. Today I am a mother of an year old baby, this was not less than a miracle for me. All thanks to Millennium Medical Center MMC IVF.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This week is the 4 year anniversary of TTC #2. I can't believe it's been 4 years already with not a single pregnancy.

I got pregnant with my son on the first try at 35 and started TTC #2 when he was 15 months old. I was diagnosed with low ovarian reserve/secondary infertility (my AMH was low). I was told that my chances of getting pregnant with IVF were 20% at age 37. We tried anyway and did 3 IUIs and 3 IVF cycles between 37-40. All BFNs.

I think it's probably time to give up at this point since I am now starting peri-menopause as of the last few months. I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with my long-term infertility and also the start of peri-menopause because it now feels like my fertility is officially over, and that's been hard to deal with.

We have decided against DE. Possibly open to adoption but unsure about it.

When you were doing IVF, what was chances did the RE give you?

OP here. When I was doing IVF the RE said 20% chance of pregnancy. We did IVF between 37-40. None worked.

Then at 40 they said chances of success with IVF less than 10% and less than 1% trying naturally.

My stats at age 42 are:

AMH .60
FSH 19
LH 7
Estradiol 64

Anonymous wrote:This week is the 4 year anniversary of TTC #2. I can't believe it's been 4 years already with not a single pregnancy.

I got pregnant with my son on the first try at 35 and started TTC #2 when he was 15 months old. I was diagnosed with low ovarian reserve/secondary infertility (my AMH was low). I was told that my chances of getting pregnant with IVF were 20% at age 37. We tried anyway and did 3 IUIs and 3 IVF cycles between 37-40. All BFNs.

I think it's probably time to give up at this point since I am now starting peri-menopause as of the last few months. I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with my long-term infertility and also the start of peri-menopause because it now feels like my fertility is officially over, and that's been hard to deal with.

We have decided against DE. Possibly open to adoption but unsure about it.

When you were doing IVF, what was chances did the RE give you?

I was never able to have the last (3rd) child I wanted---TTC about 6 years. Not the same as having a second at all but maybe some of this will help.
What helped was a hysterectomy and time.
1) I had a hysterectomy at age 42 for heavy cycles and fibroids. Although it was done (and more importantly paid for) because of medical reasons, the psychological benefit was HUGE. As long as I had a chance of getting pregnant every month I lived in perpetual limbo and was acutely aware of my inability to conceive. Every 30 days I wondered "maybe this is the month?" Living in that limbo for years was the worst. Having the hysterectomy allowed me to close that door for good and forced me to move on. Another alternative I considered was just going on birth control. Sounds counterproductive but again, it was the limbo of "always hoping that this month was the month" that drove me crazy and prevented me from ever moving on emotionally.

2) Time in general has healed the pain immensely. My youngest child is now 8 and in 3rd grade. Infertility has been replaced with new problems and concerns (aging parents, school issues, work concerns, etc). There's only so long that a a pain can remain preeminent in one's mind. I honestly never think about it anymore whereas for a long time I thought about it all the time. Again, I recognize that the pain is stronger with wanting a second child. It is certainly stronger for other terrible things that happen in life: loss of a child, death of a spouse, etc, etc. But even those wounds heal with time. If anything, they are replaced with new and more pressing concerns and they fade a bit to the background.

OP, our journeys have been very different (5 losses in 3 years and currently might be on loss #6) but we are ultimately in the same club of potentially having an only child.

The way I cope? I think about how I used to feel when I just wanted to be a Mom. If you had told me 4 years ago that I would "only" have one child I would have been OK with that. I just wanted to be a mom. How much joy that child has brought! And I love our sweet little family.

Good Luck Op and all the PPs.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I just haven't made peace with the situation yet because I had it so easy the first time around (easy time getting pregnant, easy pregnancy, easy delivery) and then nothing at all for four years. Everyone else in my social circle is on baby #2 or #3 and it's hard being the only family who is one and done, not by choice. It doesn't help that my child is now asking for a baby all the time and complaining about being lonely.

And now my Gyn says I'm going to go through early menopause (I'm 41 and my cycles have just gotten very irregular lately). Gyn says I'll be through menopause most likely by age 44. This is very upsetting to me, but I've had peri-menopausal symptoms for awhile now that have lately gotten worse. So the whole early menopause thing combined with the secondary infertility is making me feel miserable. I already feel like a complete failure and now the early menopause thing is making me feel old.

You're not alone. First pregnancy at 37, conceived easily, best experience ever. Nothing but miscarriages since we started trying for #2. It's hard to accept and stop trying; it's hard to keep trying and live in perpetual limbo, holding onto car seats and baby clothes "just in case."

Hugs.

My one and only is 8 years old and I’ve been trying for 5 years to have my second child. I have finally accepted that it will not happen with my terrible egg quality issues. But despite working on it for so long I just can’t stop wanting another baby. I’ve decided that the uncertainty that comes along with using DE is easier than the sorrow of never having the child I want so badly. So, after a long, long time I’m ready to use DE.

I am so sorry, OP. Sending you my best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry. I'm at that stage too. It's hard to give up on dreams.

Any suggestions for coping? I tried therapy, it was useless. I've had plenty of time to work through my feelings about it (since I knew after a year of TTC that I would never be successful, but we kept on trying for 3 more years). I've had time to process my emotions but I still feel sad about this every single day.

I'm PP. I don't know. It's painful. I wish I had something more useful for you and me. I'm sad about this every day as well. I guess I had more time to process and accept it. I always thought I would have a big family. But after so many years and failures, I realize it's not going to happen. I'm concentrating on raising the one I have. Time does heal.

Did you do ICSI with asssisted hatching? I had similar stats and I think the egg shell was tough and the sperm couldn't penetrate. So frustrating. I'm really sorry OP.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry. I'm at that stage too. It's hard to give up on dreams.

Any suggestions for coping? I tried therapy, it was useless. I've had plenty of time to work through my feelings about it (since I knew after a year of TTC that I would never be successful, but we kept on trying for 3 more years). I've had time to process my emotions but I still feel sad about this every single day.

I'm sorry. I'm at that stage too. It's hard to give up on dreams.

OP here. I just haven't made peace with the situation yet because I had it so easy the first time around (easy time getting pregnant, easy pregnancy, easy delivery) and then nothing at all for four years. Everyone else in my social circle is on baby #2 or #3 and it's hard being the only family who is one and done, not by choice. It doesn't help that my child is now asking for a baby all the time and complaining about being lonely.

And now my Gyn says I'm going to go through early menopause (I'm 41 and my cycles have just gotten very irregular lately). Gyn says I'll be through menopause most likely by age 44. This is very upsetting to me, but I've had peri-menopausal symptoms for awhile now that have lately gotten worse. So the whole early menopause thing combined with the secondary infertility is making me feel miserable. I already feel like a complete failure and now the early menopause thing is making me feel old.

Just want to say I'm so sorry. We had the same experience. Got pregnant when I was 35. Tried for four years on our own. Finally decided to use DE. Got pregnant on the 3rd try and now have a 17 month old. Best decision we ever made. Super hard to wrap my head around when we were first considering it, but I did not have it in me to go the adoption route and I really wanted another baby.

I’m so sorry. Wishing you peace with the decision you do make for your family.

This week is the 4 year anniversary of TTC #2. I can't believe it's been 4 years already with not a single pregnancy.

I got pregnant with my son on the first try at 35 and started TTC #2 when he was 15 months old. I was diagnosed with low ovarian reserve/secondary infertility (my AMH was low). I was told that my chances of getting pregnant with IVF were 20% at age 37. We tried anyway and did 3 IUIs and 3 IVF cycles between 37-40. All BFNs.

I think it's probably time to give up at this point since I am now starting peri-menopause as of the last few months. I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with my long-term infertility and also the start of peri-menopause because it now feels like my fertility is officially over, and that's been hard to deal with.

We have decided against DE. Possibly open to adoption but unsure about it.