Reply to ISO movies/books etc about not putting your boyfriend first/ahead of other responsibilities

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“I think there is a big overlap between girls who don't feel unconditionally loved by dad and girls who don't have good boundaries with boyfriends.”

NP here. This is a profound message from a previous poster. This was me. If you don’t know that your parents love you unconditionally then you will not have good boundaries with boyfriends. I will go further and say that you will likely end up becoming dependent on them. [/quote]

This. This. THIS OP.

You need to show your daughter that you are more than her authoritarian figure (b/c that is how she sees you right now and BF is her REFUGE from you). And I say this with kindness in my heart b/c you are "right" about all that you are thinking and disapproving of. You are right, OP.
But being right is no the point here. What IS the point is that your DD is at an age where she will seek love and acceptance through the path of least resistance. 
Invite her out to dinner...just the two of you. Spend time with her. Talk to her (don't lecture or advise) about who she wants to be, what goals she has, what are her interests. Tell her you admire this or that about her. Again, don't lecture or advise. Just shower her with some attention and praise that doesn't at all revolve around her poor decisions or anything about the boyfriend. She will start to value this time and attention with her dad and it's possible that this will influence her choices far more than negative consequences will.[/quote]

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