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[quote=Anonymous]We are dealing with a similar disappointing situation so please understand that my response is well meaning, even if I will struggle with the exact right wording.  It is all points I am trying to tell myself.

There is no reason to be hiding this information from your kid.  Keeping it a secret makes it seem like your kid did something wrong, or that you think he's not good enough.  He is where he is.

Kids need to learn to deal with disappointment as early as possible.  Tell your son the truth, in as honest and kind a way as possible.  Don't make excuses or blame anyone, but try to find out any reasons that he wasn't asked back to the team and tell him that.  Gives him something to work on, maybe (unless it was his size, as it sometimes is, and there's not much to do about that).  Also, other kids likely will find out and it will be much worse for him to find out from someone else (my kid's been playing travel for a couple of years now and I'm only now figuring out how much the coach talks to other parents and even parents from  OTHER teams about some of the kids on our team -- it is really unprofessional and inappropriate, but it happens a lot).

Why are you moving clubs?  Just because he didn't make the top team again?  If so, I don't think that's a great lesson for your kid.  They can't all be on the top team.  It is a better lesson to try to work to make it back, if that's what he (not you) wants.  If he is going to be on a top team but at a lower club or one with not great coaches, he may not improve as much as he might on the B team he got an offer for.  Don't bail for the sake of bailing.

I get that it is frustrating to go to a tournament and not get much playing time.  But skipping the tournament just sounds like sour grapes, I'm going to pack up my toys and go home.  I get that your feelings might be hurt (and I say that because your kid doesn't even know about the decision).  This decision isn't about you.  You signed your son up to be part of a team and he needs to learn how to be a good teammate.  He needs to be gracious about the kids who were selected, if he knows, and acknowledge their accomplishment.

It sounds like you are very invested in your kid's soccer experience.  I am too.  But try to look at the big picture here.[/quote]

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