I'm not sure your DS will find out eventually but don't really see the point in hiding it. Happened to DS one year. He just shrugged. Kids know more than you think about how they are doing. Does he start every game? How's his playing time? What kind of feedback is he getting from the coach? He might have known all season that he was on the fringe.

Dog eat dog world. Better the kid know that he's got improve now.

Anonymous wrote:If the club heard that you were moving anyway...or had already decided to move, then they may have decided to not give an A team offer. It is best to not tell others you are even thinking about leaving.

Op here. No one knows. I have not said anything to anyone. My older son is moving so that’s why I’m moving my younger son (the one who was dropped). I want only one club. Too hard logically to do two separate clubs.

Anonymous wrote:I’m disappointed but we have already decided to move clubs anyway. My son has no idea he was put on a lower team and since we won’t be back I don’t want to tell him. My concern right now is that he’s playing in a tournament this weekend and all the parents will ask me where he placed. I don’t want to say. Please tell me how I can avoid this question. What can I say?

Hey, snowplow parent, let your kid know he had a minor setback. Not only do you not want to tell him, you want to devise schemes to avoid telling anyone. In addition to inappropriately shielding your kid from slight disappointment, you're sending a terrible message about dealing with things head on.

My DC will be moving down from A to B next year. And it is for the best - it is at a very competitive club. We had hoped DC would have been moved down last year when some others were moved down.

The age change a few years back did DC no favors, and DC doesn't play with any friends from DC grade and is young and small for the team.

Although a little embarrassing, DC just lost the aggressive edge DC had at younger ages. DC is excited to likely be a starter again with more playtime and really likes the lower team coach.

If the club heard that you were moving anyway...or had already decided to move, then they may have decided to not give an A team offer. It is best to not tell others you are even thinking about leaving.

We are dealing with a similar disappointing situation so please understand that my response is well meaning, even if I will struggle with the exact right wording. It is all points I am trying to tell myself.

There is no reason to be hiding this information from your kid. Keeping it a secret makes it seem like your kid did something wrong, or that you think he's not good enough. He is where he is.

Kids need to learn to deal with disappointment as early as possible. Tell your son the truth, in as honest and kind a way as possible. Don't make excuses or blame anyone, but try to find out any reasons that he wasn't asked back to the team and tell him that. Gives him something to work on, maybe (unless it was his size, as it sometimes is, and there's not much to do about that). Also, other kids likely will find out and it will be much worse for him to find out from someone else (my kid's been playing travel for a couple of years now and I'm only now figuring out how much the coach talks to other parents and even parents from OTHER teams about some of the kids on our team -- it is really unprofessional and inappropriate, but it happens a lot).

Why are you moving clubs? Just because he didn't make the top team again? If so, I don't think that's a great lesson for your kid. They can't all be on the top team. It is a better lesson to try to work to make it back, if that's what he (not you) wants. If he is going to be on a top team but at a lower club or one with not great coaches, he may not improve as much as he might on the B team he got an offer for. Don't bail for the sake of bailing.

I get that it is frustrating to go to a tournament and not get much playing time. But skipping the tournament just sounds like sour grapes, I'm going to pack up my toys and go home. I get that your feelings might be hurt (and I say that because your kid doesn't even know about the decision). This decision isn't about you. You signed your son up to be part of a team and he needs to learn how to be a good teammate. He needs to be gracious about the kids who were selected, if he knows, and acknowledge their accomplishment.

It sounds like you are very invested in your kid's soccer experience. I am too. But try to look at the big picture here.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with posters above about the truth. I'm not sure I would skip the tournament though.

I would ask the coach if he’s going to play your DC at all during the tournament especially if the tournament is at least a few hours driving distance.

Why drive for hours just to watch yo7r DC sit on the bench the entire time.

I agree with posters above about the truth. I'm not sure I would skip the tournament though.

Anonymous wrote:I’m disappointed but we have already decided to move clubs anyway. My son has no idea he was put on a lower team and since we won’t be back I don’t want to tell him. My concern right now is that he’s playing in a tournament this weekend and all the parents will ask me where he placed. I don’t want to say. Please tell me how I can avoid this question. What can I say?

Just say he wasn't selected for the A team, happens all the time. It sucks, but if you say anything else everyone will know something is up, plus they will find out anyway.

We're in a similar boat; our DC won't move up next year when most of the team will (roster size increases next year), and we already had a game (and will have a few more) and had to deal with it. But it's only youth soccer, after all.

The tougher discussion is the one with your son - he's going to find out eventually, I'd think it would be better to come from you.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't show up for the tournament if my kid got dropped from a to b team. The coach is going to be concentrating on the a team kids who are staying so your kid isn't going to get a lot of playing time. It is conceivable that the coach brings in guest players who will be in a team next year. You are just going to end up being annoyed. Plan a fun weekend instead.

This is true happened to us. DC barely got any playing time after try outs we decided to switch clubs as well.

Nothing beats a first team practice and games I'm sure DC would have been ok at 2 level team but we moved for the best and now happy at his new team.

I wouldn't show up for the tournament if my kid got dropped from a to b team. The coach is going to be concentrating on the a team kids who are staying so your kid isn't going to get a lot of playing time. It is conceivable that the coach brings in guest players who will be in a team next year. You are just going to end up being annoyed. Plan a fun weekend instead.

Self deprecating honesty is always best in this situation

I mean...just tell the truth. It happens all the time and I don't think there is any way to avoid answering if asked. Sorry for your son, though! That really sucks.

I’m disappointed but we have already decided to move clubs anyway. My son has no idea he was put on a lower team and since we won’t be back I don’t want to tell him. My concern right now is that he’s playing in a tournament this weekend and all the parents will ask me where he placed. I don’t want to say. Please tell me how I can avoid this question. What can I say?