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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am here with you - even have a 2 and 4 year old too. Two things I recently did: committed to pausing before speaking/challenging/chastising (i.e., yelling) and, even more effective for me, to spend more time getting down to their level physically to have conversations.

While I agree with the posters on taking a time out, counting to ten, etc., for me those things haven't been quite as helpful. However, taking a minute to better assess the situation before jumping in has really reduced my yelling. A lot of times my kids will stop doing whatever dumb thing they started or figure out whatever they are fighting over if I give it a minute before intervening (not if being unsafe, of course). I find since I'm yelling less, they are actually responding better to me when I talk to them and the situation seems to be deescalating.

Even more helpful has been getting down on their level. When they are doing something that is driving me nuts lately I kneel down and talk to them about it. "Why are you upset? What is going on? How can we solve the problem?" I find that it makes me focus on my kids rather than yelling while distracted by other ongoing things, which never works anyway. Most importantly, I never feel the urge to yell if I'm speaking directly face to face as opposed to from the next room/across the room so it has really cut down on yelling.

Final thing - downloaded a noise meter app on my phone for when there is a sheer volume issue. Kids hate triggering the alarm! Everyone is calmer when voices are at a reasonable level.

[/quote]

Yes yes yes to all of this.  I have slipped into yelling and frustration with my 2 and 4 year old lately as well.  Especially my 4 year old.  I don't want to have her earliest memories be me yelling at her!  When I am being "better" I do a lot of these things.  I particularly like the "committing to a pause".  Because yes!  That helps so much.  I needed the reminders.  Thank you PP for posting this.[/quote]

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