Reply to 13yo dd is horrible to 10 yo dd

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[quote=Anonymous]We have a similar problem with 11 yr old DD and 9 yr old DS.  I have read so many books, seen a therapist, done online classes, it's so hard.

Whenever things get rude, I stop DD right then and there, and remind her "if you can be polite to your friends and teacher at school, if you can be calm with strangers in a store, if you can be respectful to your teammates and coaches, you can use the same voice and respect in this house with your brother who lives with you and loves you. this is your one and only warning. now you have the reminder, if you do it again, you are making that choice yourself and you will be immediately punished (insert take away phone, no watching show, no hanging out with friends, have her do DS's chores for him, etc, whatever is on hand for that moment).  Do you understand?"

If she does it again, and many times she does, I must follow through.  I must have this talk with her wherever we are (at a restaurant, in the car, even in front of other people).  She's a provoker and button pusher.  But she needs boundaries.  And my son gets his feelings hurt all the time and it isn't right.[/quote]

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