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Tweens and Teens
Reply to "Snowplow Parenting"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a snowplow parent and don’t apologize for it or feel bad. Social media allowing me to connect back with people I knew growing up has taught me that who you are as a teen is who you are as an adult and the ones who change are exceptions not the rule. The kids who were smart, involved, organized, out going and put together as teens are the adults who are still that way and have great careers and have done very well. You can tell by their career choice, place they live, activities they do now, etc. this is the kind of thing you glean not from their over happy posts but the background in the posts and their LinkedIn profiles and in some cases published work, and so on The kids like me who were in the middle - did ok, got by went to college, got a normal job and so on - stayed the same in adulthood. We may have talked a good game back in the day about having ambition but we weren’t going to do anything to hard to achieve them. I can also see now but couldn’t see when I was a teen that social skills build on themselves and kids who miss out on developing them at each stage life do end up a bit farther behind the curve each year and catching up becomes very difficult. I know there are going to be plenty of posts telling me how wrong I am but remember exceptions are what people advertise and talk about. No one brags about the literal millions who do not become exceptions.[/quote] Op here. I think you touched on a deeper layer of my fear. I think of the opportunities I missed out on as a teenager due to laziness and ignorance. I was asked by a teacher to move to an advanced science class in 9th grade. I said no because I didn’t want to work that hard. So many other social opportunities I rejected because I felt more comfortable with my friends from the neighborhood. Don’t even get me started about bad dating choices. I learned from my mistakes. I was raised middle class and am still middle class. I just want better for my children. This drives the compulsion to know everything, to comment on everything, to intervene and give advice about everything! I’m not proud of my parenting right now. I appreciate all the responses and will check out the book suggested. [/quote]
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