Reply to “Grooming” young children - what are the signs to watch for? How to protect them?

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Reply to "“Grooming” young children - what are the signs to watch for? How to protect them?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Don't assume everyone is a pedophile, because if your alarm is constantly going off, it won't alert you to real threats.

This is what I tell my kid:

Good grownups don't ask kids to keep secrets from their parents.  If someone asks you to keep a secret from me, you should tell me right away.  No matter what it is, you won't get in trouble.  (This involves a discussion of secrets v. surprises.)  Good grownups don't give kids candy or any kind of treat without asking their parents if it's okay.  Good grownups don't ask a kid to go somewhere with them without asking their parents first.  Good grownups don't touch you if you don't want to be touched.  Good grownups don't ask kids to help them without telling their parents first.

"Stranger danger" is actually a pretty useless concept.  The people most likely to abuse your kid are adults they know and trust--teachers, coaches, relatives, etc.  And sometimes they will need to ask a stranger for help: a police officer, a bus driver, a store clerk, another mom at the playground.  It's about figuring out which adults can be trusted and which can't.  (See above.)  We talk about who to ask for help if you get lost or someone is bothering you (police officer, fire fighter, mom with kids).

The risk from pedophiles is actually quite low.  Watch for people who take an unusual interest in your kid, want to do things alone with them, etc.  Organizations (schools, sports teams, etc.) should have procedures to ensure that adults are not alone with a kid.  [/quote]

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