Reply to if you stayed in a bad marriage for your kids, do you think you did the right thing?

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Reply to "if you stayed in a bad marriage for your kids, do you think you did the right thing?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is the marriage you are modeling and the values that keep you there what you would want your kids to internalize?

That's the question I wish my mom had asked herself during my childhood... [/quote]

SO much this.  Except that both of my parents should have asked themselves this question.  It's not solely my mom's fault.

And if there's a lot of conflict, or you don't get along to the point that it affects your ability to parent your children effectively, think very carefully about staying together.  Kids know what's going on, and can be harmed from being raised in the context of a lousy marriage.  Yeah, divorce is a PITA, but so are parents who are miserable together.[/quote]

As someone who rode out a rough patch and has a better marriage now, I would say yes.  Believing in others, not giving up easily, having patience, prioritizing family, taking a long-term view, forgiving others and seeking forgiveness for my own failures, are very much the values I want to show my kids.  We all benefit immensely in the long term from not giving up when things are hard.

I believe that adults can control what comes out of their own mouths.  There is no reason you need to fight in front of the children.  If that is the problem, stop doing it.  Grow up and control yourselves.  Some things are not within our control but you can choose what you say with your own mouth.[/quote]

Right, and when one spouse refuses to stop insulting, belittling, and swearing at their spouse, it’s irresponsible to stay. [/quote]

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