Reply to if you stayed in a bad marriage for your kids, do you think you did the right thing?

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Reply to "if you stayed in a bad marriage for your kids, do you think you did the right thing?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A man who is a great dad and an indifferent spouse?  This marriage can be turned around.

An indifferent dad and an indifferent spouse? RUN.

An indifferent dad and an attentive spouse? He is looking at your money.  RUN.

[/quote]

OP here.  Our situation: two really great parents who simply don't have much in common with each other. We each recognize that the marriage was a mistake, but we are committed to the kids.[/quote]

My marriage is great overall, but if I were in your shoes, I don't know... I've had bad relationships and couldn't imagine forcing myself to accept a bad relationship and "fight for it" if it wasn't really what I wanted for myself. Who wants to look back at 80 years old and say wow, I should have gotten out what I had the chance and found a better situation.

In the short-term, I could see staying put and focusing on the positives. Divorce is difficult. I think you have to be truly unhappy to pursue it. You also need to consider what you would gain from a divorce. Long term, who wants to stay in a bland marriage? This isn't the 1600s. Women have jobs. We aren't property. We live in a country where you can start fresh. No one is going to throw acid on you for leaving your husband.

Consider this: can you live this way with someone you have lukewarm feelings about for another 30+ years? What is the reward? Our society values the idea of saving marriages but in the end, is being married for 50 years such a great achievement if you really weren't happy all those years? Sounds like surviving an endurance test. [/quote]

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