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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I got divorced when my D was 12-14ish.  It was hellishly contentious and leading up to it my D went through various periods of up to several months where she would not see or speak to me.

However, I was adamant that we would have 50/50 custody and I simply told my ex and her counsel that I would accept nothing less.  I said that without this I would fight in court until the very day D turned 18 and we would likely be bankrupt and possibly in deep debt for legal fees.  I was willing to absolutely destroy our financial life over this and never wavered from making sure everyone knew that.

The reason I took this position was that I love my D and as far as I was concerned, my heart and door was always open.  If she chose to not walk through and be in each other's lives, that was her choice (and frankly due to no small amount of her mother's influence).

I wanted the final judgement to be 50/50 and then I would deal with whatever the reality was after that.  If my D refused to come see me then I would be patient and do what I could to heal the relationship because it would be on our terms.  If there was a Court order that had skewed custody in it and denied equal time with both parents then I would not have the same chance.

My advice to anyone in a divorce proceeding and sorting out custody is to stand firm on 50/50 because it's in the best interest of the child to have the family (even in it's new divided form) work things out, not the Court System or Judge who looks at things for 20 minutes and makes a decision that will affects lives for years and years.      [/quote]

How has it worked out? Do you have a close relationship with D? Does she spend 50% of the time with you?[/quote]

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