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[quote=Anonymous]For my parents, their resistance was a combination of 4 things:
1- denial that there was anything “wrong” with their perfect grandchild
2- ignorance - kids like him were just quirky/ high strung when we were young
3- guilt that they may have missed similar struggles in their kids or themselves
4- shame that they really weren’t great parents- they were pretty lucky with how their kids turned out despite their parenting/ relationship skills

For my mom we had some really open conversations about how when you know better you can do better from a parenting perspective.  That there is nothing shameful about the special needs.  And she was present for some of our ABA sessions and witnessed both that work and some OT/ ST sessions.  So that really helped with the ignorance.  She the. Started asking questions about how she could do better.  And she changed her interaction style with my kids which improved her relationship with them.

My dad is really opinionated and volatile and he came the realization that a spanking might not fix everything when he saw how differently the kids acted when they were with my mom.  So he tried making changes to his behavior too.  This got easier when we moved closer so there was more time together available.

And my brother has always had my back.  Whenever my parents would complain to him about my parenting he would shut it down and comment that I am managing a lot of hard stuff and need support.

Honestly before they changed, we had started limiting contact to short visits. [/quote]

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