Reply to Amazing, accomplished DD thinks extremely critically of herself because of her weakness in math

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[quote=Anonymous]You are telling her and reinforcing the idea that people have set abilities in math. You are upset that the school has a STEM focus that "overemphasizes her weakness in math". If she is able to get 100's on many assignments, she has the cognitive ability to do well in her level of math (which is not the most rigorous for her grade). You are sabotaging her by your words and actions. 
I am not Asian but grew up with many kids whose parents were from Korea and China. They all did well in math. By the end of high school I realized that it wasn't that they were all innately better in math. The ones who were didn't have to work hard and the ones who didn't worked hard. Their parents got the textbooks the summer before and they worked all the problems in the book. Or they had tutors, or went to extra math classes in the evenings, or they grew up going to Kumon so they were really good at rote problem solving and could focus on conceptual learning during class because they already had the skills and automaticity to solve problems.
I now do the same thing with my kids. Teachers assume they are innately gifted in math. They get positive feedback from teachers. In reality, math does not come so easily to my oldest so he has to work harder than my youngest kid. 
So you can go get a therapist to help her feel good about struggling in math or you can go get her math tutoring and continue tutoring her winter break and summer so she feels good about doing well in math. [/quote]

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