Reply to Amazing, accomplished DD thinks extremely critically of herself because of her weakness in math

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I was her age I really fetishized being smart. To be smart meant taking the hardest classes on the quickest timeline while making it look effortless.

The truth is most of the most brilliant minds are not the fastest and put forth tremendous amounts of effort. And they have failed. The great mathematician isn’t the student who aces calculus in 10th grade. It’s the student who keeps taking harder and harder math on her own timeline.

I wish I had known that. You could of course tell her, but kids don’t listen to stuff like this. [/quote]

OP here and you are me. This is why this is so hard for me to watch. When I was a kid, I was in gifted classes and my strength was math. 99th percentile on every standardized test, high IQ, math competitions, etc. But more than that, I wrongly assumed that being "smart" meant having things come easily to you. Not working for it.

Fast forward to adulthood and I see that I couldn't have been more wrong. Hard work, determination, resilience. Getting up after falling down. Helping others. These are the hallmarks of a great human being.

I have worked her whole life for her not to repeat my mistakes. I have praised her since she was little for being a hard worker, because things don't come easily to her. I have told her about countless people I knew in life who possess the same great characteristics that she has. Who have become world leaders, top athletes and musicians because things DIDN'T come easily to them and they DIDN'T give up when it got hard. Which I *always* did and still tend to do to this day if I don't catch myself and self-correct.

I desperately want her to believe me when I tell her that she is SO MUCH BETTER than I could ever be. That because she works hard and gets up after falling down, she will have MORE success in life than someone like me, who never had to try hard for anything. But she just doesn't see it. She just sees the negatives. She just doesn't get it.

I thank you so much for your response and I hope that someday this message will get through to her.[/quote]

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